


Sweet Chaos

by StayWritten



Category: K-pop, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Idols, Protective Chan, brotherly Stray kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StayWritten/pseuds/StayWritten
Summary: Seungmin falls in love with a sweet stranger, but doing so may put his career in jeopardy. Is he willing to risk everything for love?
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	Sweet Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> Also available on my Tumblr under the same handle. I post there first

It started about a month ago when Seungmin met you outside of a Day6 concert. You were in front of the venue busking, singing along to acoustic renditions of their songs and he couldn’t help but join you. Who could resist singing along to Day6? It was his weakness. The two of you harmonized and found your synergy easily. His voice complimented yours, as you two practically sang their whole album. It was almost cliche how much fun he had. 

Originally he was going to watch it with his manager, but he had a family emergency last minute so he gave Seungmin special permission to attend the concert alone. It was a safe bet. He was well behaved. The venue wasn’t far from the dorms and it was a JYP event so staff would be nearby. However his singing did garner a bigger crowd, he lowered his cap regretting his decision and hoping you and the crowd hadn’t recognized him. Luckily for him a car pulled up escorting another idol to the concert and that was enough to distract the fans to see who it was.

He should have disappeared in the crowd, gone through the staff entrance and kept his head low until the concert started. But instead, he stayed back to talk to you. Because well, you were pretty and had a lovely voice and was a fan of Day6 so who could say no to hanging out with a Fellow MyDay?

“Where are you going to put your guitar during the concert?” he frowned seeing the line start to move as the fans were let in. 

You laughed nervously, scratching the back of your head. “Oh…” your voice trailed as you looked away, almost too embarrassed to tell this wonderfully adorable stranger the truth. “I’m not actually going to see the concert.”

“Are you not a fan?” he frowned

“Oh no-I am. A huge fan actually, it’s just by the time I got paid the tickets were sold out and the resell prices were out of my price range” you shrugged before standing up with your guitar. “You should probably get in line” Your heart melted seeing his lips go into a pout. “I’m fine really, don’t feel bad.” you waived your hands. “I’ll see them at the next concert”

“You can sit with me. I have an extra ticket” he smiled, digging in his pocket and pulling out the extra lanyard. “Here”

“Oh no- that’s a VIP ticket I can’t-”

“My Hyung was supposed to come with me, but he’s busy. If you don’t take the ticket it’s gonna go to waste”

You frowned looking to the line that was moving a lot faster into the building. You really did want to go, and maybe this was the miracle you prayed for? “Here let me buy it from you” you grabbed your wallet pulling out all the cash you had “I can send you the rest through-”

“No, I want to give it to you”

“But-”

“Come on, we should hurry” he chuckled, grabbing your hand and guitar leading you to the VIP line. 

“I don’t even know your name” you giggled, you couldn’t help but mirror his puppy-like smile. 

“I’m Seungmin” he looked back to you, his eyes practically twinkling. You introduced yourself following his lead

And that was how you had the best the night of your life. Day6 delivering one of the best performances you’d ever seen. All from an amazing pit view. The concert was even more memorable with the new friend you’d just made.

After the show, you insisted on buying him dinner at your favorite hole in the wall restaurant near the station. You held his hand, leading him inside. “Hi, Auntie~” you chimed walking toward the back. “Order anything and everything you want”

“You don’t have to buy me dinner, really” he smiled, taking off his coat. 

“Are you kidding? You just gave me the most amazing night of my life, dinner is the least I could do since you won’t take my money”

“I would just feel bad making you pay, you’re so pretty and you took me out, I should be buying you dinner” he pouted.

“You think I’m pretty” you teased 

“ **You** think I’m handsome” he shot back, his smile, tugging into a smirk. 

“You caught me” you laughed “How ‘bout next time you buy me dinner” you winked, catching how he had to do a double-take at you.

He blushed looking back at his menu, trying to ignore how flustered you made him. He was used to having women around him but he knew he was vastly inexperienced. There was a difference between having staff, other idols, and even Stays. Being with you made him feel like these were the experiences he would have had if he hadn’t debuted in highschool. 

You reached over the table to feed him a bite of the rice soup. “Ah~” you lightly blew on it before offering the spoon to him. He opened his mouth letting you feed him, all while keeping eye contact with him. You brushed the stray rice grain from his cheek. “Good right?”

He nodded, unable to find the words to respond to your advances. Especially because he liked them. 

“You’re so cute” you stared at him, almost in a dreamy gaze leaning on your hand. 

“Stop looking at me like that” he pouted.

“Like what?” you grinned.

He huffed before digging into the chicken, not knowing how to deal with that mischievous glint in your eyes. You couldn’t help but smile at him, Seungmin was just so sweet. Everything about him disarmed you, that gorgeous smile, his beautiful dark brown puppy-like eyes, even how his nose scrunched when he laughed. But it wasn’t that you were so physically attracted to him. It was how kind he was, like when you were at the concert he always made sure you weren’t pushed, even to the point of holding your waist to hold you close. 

The owner walked over with a refill of soup, a kind smile on her face. “You’ve never brought a boy here before~ Aigooo and he’s so handsome” she couldn’t help but squeeze Seungmin’s cheeks as he greeted her. 

“Ugh, Auntie please.” you rolled your eyes. “I’ve been coming here since I was a kid” you explained to him. “Seungmin took me to the Day6 concert it was amazing”

“Aww that’s so sweet, I’m glad you got to go” she looked him over. “You’re seriously so handsome, are you an idol?”

You scoffed before eating a spoon full of soup. “Auntie please, not **everyone** is an idol.” you rolled your eyes. “Seungmin isn’t superficial.”

She raised her hands in surrender “I was just asking” she smiled at him. “Don’t mind her she doesn’t like idols very much, I, however, think they’re adorable” the older woman cooed at him again. “Are you a student? Or a model or something?”

Seungmin looked back and forth between the two of you. What was he supposed to say? He didn’t want to lie and say that he _wasn’t_ an idol, but judging from your reaction, you didn’t seem keen on him being an idol. And something about that made him want to keep that part of his life a secret. It wasn’t like he could go around telling people right? He was supposed to lay low tonight. “I’m a student” he chuckled nervously. 

“Which university do you go to?” you looked at him expectantly.

“Y-Yonsei” It was the first university to come to mind, he’d always pass it on his commute. 

“Wow you’re smart” you nodded, satisfied with his answer. “I’m a second year at Seoul’s Women University, we should study sometime.” 

And that’s how he got into this mess. It’d already been three weeks; it was taking **everything** in him to keep up the charade. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like feeling _normal_. The days that you’d go to the cafe, he’d usually pick one on the far side of town, or studying at your university library. The daily text messages, and late night phone calls. It was like the life he could have had.

Something he didn’t know he was missing. 

On his days off he’d get permission to, ‘visit his parents’ and be able to leave for the night, and secretly went to meet you. On days with schedules he’d just wait until everyone fell asleep and snuck out. If he got caught he’d make up an excuse that he was just going to practice. He felt guilty for lying. To you, his members, even his parents. He just kept convincing himself he’d find an opportunity to fess up. 

He knew that once you found out he was an idol, you’d want nothing to do with him.

Maybe that’s why he was stalling. 

Seungmin quietly made his way out of his bedroom. The two of you had a late night movie date planned. He’d been prepping for a comeback so he didn’t have as many opportunities to see you, and honestly he just missed you. It was a little past midnight when his members knocked out, dance practice was tough and they needed to recover. Chan and Jisung were still in the studio and Felix was gaming in the living room and he was almost out the door when he ran into Jeongin outside of the dorm. 

“Hyung?” Jeongin smiled “What are you doing out here?”

“I..” he faltered for a moment “I was just going to practice the new song a little more.” he eyed him suspiciously. “Why are you out here?”

Jeongin’s shoulders slumped before he looked around. “I snuck out to the convenience store to get snacks.” he shyly hid the bag behind his back “Don’t tell the Hyungs?”

He chuckled “Ok I won’t, I didn’t see you” he playfully motioned to zip his mouth closed and throw away the key.

Jeongin smiled brightly before thanking him. “Thank you so much Hyung! I’ll share my snacks with you later” he scurried back toward the dorm. “Oh, don’t practice too hard, remember to get some sleep too”

He watched, making sure Jeongin got into the elevator safely but feeling this sting that he had to lie to him. 

Your apartment was only a few blocks from the dorm, but he made sure to take back roads, and kept his cap and mask on before entering the building. He knew he wasn’t on Dispatch’s watch list but he knew he had to be careful.

When you buzzed him in he was greeted by your hug immediately. You motioned to the makeshift pillow fort you’d thrown together in front of your tv “Isn’t it cute?” You chimed. 

“It’s adorable,” he laughed taking off his hat, mask, and shoes at the door. “You didn’t have to go through this trouble” he left you drag him toward it, following you inside, careful not to hit anything. 

“I know but I wanted to do something, you’ve been so busy lately” you frowned. “I guess I just wanted to distract you from school”

And there it was another lie that he told to keep up this act. He pushed that feeling to the back of his mind. “Is it ok if we don’t watch a movie?”

“Sure” you frowned. “What did you want to do? Was the movie thing too cheesy?”

“No...It’s just...I really just wanna hear your voice.” he smiled watching your reaction. 

Your eyes widened at his sudden confession. The two of you had managed to flirt a little here and there and although you never explicitly stated whatever this was you knew there was _something_. He just wasn’t usually so forward. He was always pretty shy and you guessed that’s why you never had a problem being bolder. You felt your cheeks warm as you looked anywhere but him, when you grabbed your guitar and pulled it into the pillow fort. “How about a song” you laughed, nervously trying to regain your composure “I haven’t heard your voice since the Day6 concert and I miss it.” 

Everything about the setting was just so romantic, the soft lighting from your fairy lights, the pillows and blankets blocking everything out. It was like a dream. No pressure of his lies, or the outside world just you and him. 

You strummed the strings warming up your voice before humming before singing Day6’s Sweet Chaos. You looked up at him expectantly as he sang along. 

_Because of you, I’m losing control_

_It’s a sweet chaos_

_Ever since you entered_

_My life, my dreams, my future_

_Everything has changed_

He loved watching you sing, how you wore every single expression so freely. Nothing seemed calculated. It disarmed him. He lost himself in the moment just watching you. 

You looked up at him from under your lashes, your mouth parting as you struggled to find something to say under his intense expression. He leaned forward, taking your guitar and gently setting it down before holding your cheek. His eyes searching your expression for any form of hesitation before he pressed his lips against yours. You held the front of his hoodie, responding to the kiss. Leaning into him he gasped feeling your tongue brush against his lips. Feeling him stiffen you pulled back. “I’m sorry I-”

“No, I kissed you…”

“I liked it…” you mumbled biting your lip.

“Me too…” he brushed your hair back and pulled you back to him for another kiss. Pressing him back as you deepened the kiss, he wrapped his arms around your waist and laid back. You pulled back to catch your breath as you straddled him. “Is this ok to keep doing?” he laughed, tracing your skin just below where your t-shirt had rode up.

“Seungmin I don’t know if you’ve noticed this but I really like you” you cupped his chubby cheeks pecking his lips again.

“I like you too...a lot.” he felt a pressure instantly lift the moment he confessed. 

The softness of his gaze was so disarming and warm. He gently pulled you back to another kiss, his lips slowly becoming more aggressive as he tangled his fingers into your hair, smiling into the kiss. Any moment you chased his kiss he would just gaze into your eyes again, almost to make sure the moment was real and it melted your heart. 

He spent all night learning everything about you. Your touch, your taste, the sweet sounds you made for him. Somewhere along all your greedy touching the fort had fallen, covering you two in the blankets. You’d both lost your shirts but stopped before it could get too far. He didn’t want to rush things, and he still couldn’t shake the guilt he had for lying. Sleeping with you just didn’t feel right yet...Not until he was honest. 

You leaned on his chest drifting in and out of sleep. Hearing the lull of his heart was so soothing as he absently rubbed soothing circles on your back. 

He pecked your hair, tugging you a little closer. “You asleep?” he whispered, more so to himself. 

“Hmm?” you hummed sleepily. 

“On the first night we hung out you said you didn’t like idols...I just never asked why?”

You yawned peaking up at him curiously. “Hm? Why do you ask?” you furrowed your brows. “Oh is it because I’m a fan of Day6?” he nodded, trying to read your reaction. You smiled before going back to lay your head on his chest, lacing your fingers with his. “I just don’t like idols...I don’t actively hate them or anything I just feel like the whole thing feels a little superficial… The whole concept, dancing, company made songs...I’m just not a fan, like you can’t tell if they’re being genuine or if it’s their image…” you shrugged. “I hear songs here and there and a lot of girls in my school like them but I personally just like bands.” you smiled to yourself. “Like I can tell what’s going on in their life and what they’re going through with the songs they write.”

He just nodded, losing any nerve he had about coming clean. The thing you dislike idols for was the very thing he was doing. Being disingenuous. 

You could almost feel his heart begin to race more. “Seungmin? You ok?” you frowned. 

“I’m fine” he smiled, grabbing your chin and pulling you into a kiss. 

“Mmm…” you smiled looking at him with glazed eyes. “Seungmin it’s ok if you’re a fan of idols I won’t hold it against you” you giggled, brushing your nose against him, giving him eskimo kisses. 

“Promise?” he whispered.

“I promise” you gave him another peck before, settling against him. 

After another month or so the two of you had developed more of a routine. Seungmin was spending almost every night at your place, and sneaking back into the dorm before morning. He was working himself to the bone to keep up the double life but seeing your smiling face, or holding you in his arms made everything worth it. 

It was your one month anniversary and although you weren’t normally one to celebrate something like a one month, your time with Seungmin was always so limited. Every moment felt so special. You planned this big event for him filling your apartment with balloons and getting a cake. You waited at the cafe down the road to meet him, that way you could walk back to your apartment together. 

You smoothed down your hair and checked your reflection in the cafe window, straightening your dress. Seungmin always dressed so dandy and dapper you wanted to match him for once, so you opted on something girlier. It was a special occasion. You smiled at your phone seeing his text.

> **My Seungminnie 💗** : Sorry i’m running late! I’m on my way 💗 See you soon 

He said he only lived down the road from the cafe, so you chose to wait outside for him. _He should hurry, it looks like it might start raining soon_. You looked up at the ominous dark clouds rolling in. 

Seungmin showered after dance practice, and was getting ready to meet you. He fluffed down his hair, slipping on his hat and making his way to the living room. He frowned seeing his team all waiting in there, Chan looking particularly stressed. 

“What’s wrong?” he looked at them, reading the mood. 

“Where are you going?” Chan looked up at him, raking his hand through his curly hair. Seeing Seungmin look away for a moment, he could almost tell he was trying to think up something. “Seungmin please…”

“I was just going to a cafe…”

“Seungmin stop.” Chan stood up, frustrated and started pacing. “Sit.”

“But Channie-Hyung I have to-”

“I said sit.” 

Seungmin sat down on the chair across from the couch. Chan wasn’t one to look so angry, sure he got stressed a lot. But was very rarely angry. Jeongin looked over to him, giving him the most apologetic look. Individually they all noticed Seungmin acting a little strange, but didn’t put two and two together, not until Jisung mentioned seeing what looked like a hickey on Seungmin and then it hit them all like a wrecking ball. Everything made sense. 

“Before you even start lying again. I’ll save you the trouble” He crossed his arms over his chest. “We know you’ve been sneaking out, and we know you haven’t been going to your parents place. And for what? A girl?” Chan sighed heavily.

“She’s not just a girl…” you were everything to him, he was sure that at this point he was in love with you. That for the first time in his life he felt a romantic love for someone and it was reciprocated. 

“And what if she’s not? Did you stop to think what would happen? If Manager-Hyung caught you? Or Dispatch? Or worst if Stay’s caught you? What do you think would happen? Are you willing to quit and leave us...?” The pain and Chan’s eyes as his voice broke toward the end. “What about us..?”

Changbin sighed looking at Seungmin. “If you get caught we’re all screwed… We’re still under a dating ban Seungmin...JYP will fire you…And if we caught you than someone else could”

“We’d lose everything...” Hyunjin whispered. 

“What about your little girlfriend huh? What makes you think she won’t sell the story to dispatch herself? Or that she’s not posting this story somewhere?” Minho scoffed, angry that they were even having this conversation. 

“She wouldn’t…”

“And how could you be so sure huh?! Why are you willing to trust her and risk all of our hard work? It’s selfish!”

“Minho-Hyung calm down” Felix frowned, seeing Minho stand up hastily, kicking a chair. 

“Calm down? How can I calm down when we’re **supposed** to be working hard for a comeback? We’re still picking up the pieces from losing someone and then **HE** goes and does something like this?! How am I supposed to calm down?! Chan literally doesn’t sleep so he can finish our songs, or what about the countless nights we’re working on choreo? We’re trying to make the best comeback for Stays and he’s gonna throw it all away?!”

Seeing that Minho looked just short of swinging on Seungmin, Changbin stood in front of him. 

Chan’s whole team was falling a part right in front of his eyes. He had to reach Seungmin somehow, and get this resolved before the company found out.

“Seungmin I know you like her...and from what we could put together you’ve been doing this for at least a month…” Chan looked down. “But we can’t afford a scandal...we’re still getting our foot in the door...If she goes public with you dating then it’s over. Our career is over. Our families are affected and I know you trust her but I don’t, not with you guys. I’m not willing to risk my team anymore…” 

“She doesn’t know I’m an idol.” he whispered, the shame heavy in his voice from hiding something so major.

“She doesn’t know you’re-” Chan stopped himself, taking a deep breath and rubbing his temples. “You’re willing to risk **all** of our careers for someone who doesn’t even know who you really ar-”

“That’s great!” Jisung looked at Seungmin with bright pleading eyes. This whole time he’s been quiet. Honestly the confrontation kind of scared him. But this was the silver lining to this nightmare. Everyone looked at Jisung like he’d absolutely lost it. “Hear me out...If you break up with her...then that’s it right? You don’t have to keep doing this and she won’t go public...It’s the only way…”

This whole thing was tearing Seungmin apart. The guilt that he felt with every lie he told came crashing at him. The look all of his Hyung’s gave him. The look of heartbreak and disappointment. But the thing that finally made his tears fall was breaking up with you, because he knew that was the only future left. “I can’t hurt her…”

Chan shook his head. “I have to protect my team Seungmin...and if you choose to break your contract, risk us all. Then you’re not part of my team anymore...and i’m gonna need you to step down…” Chan sniffled looking up at him with desperation. “The choice is yours...but...you need to make it”

“Hyung...please don’t leave us…” Jeongin begged, his eyes glazed over as he pulled Seungmin into a tight hug. “Don’t leave us too…”

Seungmin stood stunned, Looking at Jeongin, his heart broke. They were right, he was being selfish. And his team had lost enough. They were only in the beginning of their career and he owed it to his team and to his fans to be dedicated. Dating bans weren’t forever so for now he just needed to focus on his career. “I won’t leave you guys...not ever…” he hugged him back tightly to reassure him. Felix, Jisung and Hyunjin immediately joining in the hug. Changbin released a relieved sigh before hugging them. 

Chan wrapped his arms around his family before looking back at Minho “Get in here.” Minho hesitantly joined them, apologizing into Seungmin’s hair.

You huddled against the awning of the cafe as the rain poured heavily, it was practically monsoon season in the blink of an eye. You didn’t want to go inside on the chance that Seungmin was close by, but he was an hour late and wasn’t answering your calls or texts. You could help but worry, afraid that something had happened to him. You felt so helpless. You didn’t even know where he lived. 

It finally hit you that there wasn’t a single person in his life that you could get in contact with to check on him. He’d mentioned his friends and roommates often but you never met any, he didn’t believe in social media so it wasn’t like you could search there. Just as you were about to say fuck it, and just walk down the road to blindly look for him you got a phone call.

The worry left your body as soon as you answered and heard his voice. “Seungmin! There you are, are you ok? Did something happen?”

He took a breath, trying not to cry hearing your voice. “I’m sorry...But I can’t see you anymore”

“What?” you looked at your caller Id, just to make sure this wasn’t some sort of prank. “What do you mean?”

“I’m breaking up with you”

“Why? Why are you? Why-” your voice broke as your tears fell. “What did I do wrong?” you sniffled. “Seungmin please just come...where are you? let’s at least do this in person…”

“There’s no need…” he took a deep breath. “I just don’t waste our time anymore. I’m tired of lying and I just can’t be what you want me to be…Please don’t try and contact me again” It was better this way. He had to convince himself that it was better if you just hated him. Because if it was hate then you could move on. Find a better love. 

You sobbed gripping your phone. “Please don’t do this...Seungmin I love you…”

“And I don’t...so let’s just stop this now… Have a good life...I’m going to be blocking you now so please don’t try and contact me again.” Before you could say anything else the line went dead. 

_Really, I loved you_

_That’s how much harder it is_

_I want to hate you_

_But I can’t so I hate you even more_

You tried calling him back, so desperately, but each and every time it would just go straight to voicemail. You fell to your knees, not caring if it got wet from the on coming rain, you just couldn’t believe it. What happened? It was all so sudden. And what did he mean? You never expected him to anything he wasn’t so why? You cried into your hands wondering, Which part of me just wasn’t enough? 

And that night you cried it out. With every fiber of your being you allowed yourself to be heart broken and sad. Calling over your best friend to vent. Because tomorrow you knew you’d have to pick up the pieces and try to continue with your life. 

Your best friend Minseo smoothed down your hair frowning. She’d never seen you so broken before and she wanted nothing more than to tell off your ex for breaking your heart. “Are you gonna be ok?”

“If he wanted to break up...I understand...That’s fine...but...it just hurt that I don’t really understand why…” you sniffled. “I don’t think I’ll ever know and that really hurts…” At least if you knew what happened you could grow from it, learn from it, but instead you were left wondering. 

Minseo scoffed. “Ok, no offense I’m sure the guy was nice but you dated him for like a month and never let me meet him.”

“He was just shy…” 

“Ok but he never let you go to his place either, you’re not shy so what does it matter if you met his roommates.” she crossed her arms. “The guy just sounds so sketchy, and that whole no sns thing? Seriously? You didn’t think that was weird?”

“I mean I did...But some people just don’t like sns.”

“They still make them even if they don’t use it.” she rubbed your back. “The guy was probably a two timer and got caught, didn’t you only see him at really weird hours too?”

“Did you always think that? He works and goes to school… it makes sense that he’s busy, even I got busy…”

“Where did he work?”

Your frown deepened “I...I don’t know” your time together was always so sparse you never wanted to drill him with questions, especially when you could tell that he looked uncomfortable when you brought it up. You always just figured he’d tell you eventually. 

_I'd been holding on to you for so long_

_Now I must let you go_

_There's nothing I can do for you_

_It's the only way to make you happy_

_So I let go, let go, let go_

_So you can smile someday_

_So you can be happy_

You took it one day at a time. Each one easier than the last. School started to get busier with exams and studying made for the perfect distractions. Minseo was always hesitant to leave you alone, so in your moments together you could tell that she was working over time to distract you from sadness. 

But you were ok. Not great-but ok. 

Soon enough a few months had passed, and Seungmin’s impression in your life almost felt like a fever dream. He was closer to a snowflake that had melted after the night. His presence fleeting, if you blinked you missed it. You hadn’t met his friends, he hadn’t met yours. The only photo you had together was a candid one you snuck at your apartment when he was playing your guitar and singing. Every so often you’d look at it just to remind yourself that he was real.

It still hurt like hell, not knowing. But despite everything you wished him well. 

Minseo pulled you through the busy streets of Gangnam to get some shopping done, retail therapy was her coping mechanism. “Wanna go to the record store? Didn’t Day6 just have a comeback?”

You smiled “That is the best idea you’ve had all day~” you chimed dragging her inside. 

“Hey I’m full of good ideas, you just don’t listen” she laughed. 

You grabbed an album from the front display, before following Minseo toward the back of the store to do some shopping of her own. On your way to the back, another display caught your eye. Normally you walked right by all of the idol stuff, but there was something on the screen that called to you. Your eyes widened as you stood in almost a trance-like state looking at it. You only saw him for a second so you waited and waited to see if you were just losing it. 

Minseo laughed seeing you watching the music video “Oh ho ho ho, look who fell to the dark side, I told you idols were mesmerizing, they’re pretty huh?” but her smile faltered seeing your eyes widened, she called your name again waving her hand in front of your face. “You ok?”

There he was again that fluffy hair, those soft twinkling eyes, and that gorgeous honey voice. “Seungmin...” 

“What?” Minseo’s eyes widened seeing how sad you suddenly look. “Your Seungmin? Is Seungmin of Stray Kids?”

“Of what?” you looked at her, your eyes glazed over. 

She walked over to the posters, flipping through the alphabetical catalog before turning it toward you. “Him?”

You set the Day6 album down before shaking your head in disbelief. “I...i need to go…” you stepped back, hurrying out of the store. 

“Wait!” Minseo followed after you, grabbing your hand. “Don’t run and talk to me please.”

You turned to her, tears running down your face. “He **lied** to me…” you ran your hand through your hair. “That’s why he wouldn’t let me meet his friends or tell me where he worked or-Ugh!”

“Hey...How about we go to Dispatch?” Minseo chimed, holding your shoulders.

“What?” you furrowed your brows “The gossip magazine?”

“They’d probably pay pretty well for a story, I mean Stray Kids is in JYP-”

“No. Oh my god, No” you sighed. “I don’t want to hurt him. I just want to forget about this whole thing to be honest.” you hugged yourself. “I met an amazing guy, fell for him and then he dumped me, and now I found out that he’s probably lied about every single thing he’s told me. I just want to be done with this”

“But you hate idols-”

“And I don’t hate idols. I'm just not a fan…” you stopped yourself remembering that time in your apartment that Seungmin had brought up idols, and any other time he’d mentioned them and just dropped the conversation. You always thought that he was trying to come out as some fanboy but he never did. “I’m so stupid…”

“I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to make you upset…” She frowned. “I was just trying to look out for you.” 

“And I appreciate it...But despite everything I did love him...Lies and all...I’d never want to hurt him.”

“But he hurt you…”

“Please...Can we drop this…?”

“Fine...As your best friend, I shall drop this” she smiled. “But in return, you have to buy me ice cream” she wrapped her arm around your shoulder, leading you to the ice cream parlor. 

“I get lied to and dumped but I have to buy you ice cream?” you laughed following along.

“Sucks huh? Well, I wasn’t the one who dated a hot idol, so ice cream is the least you can do to pay me for dealing with your drama” she grinned. 

And as quickly as the seasons changed you finished your degree and graduated from your university. Over the past year, you had a lot of time to self reflect, often thinking back to your love. Admittedly you were pretty judgmental back then, and although you wouldn’t say you’ve become a fan of idols, you acknowledged their hard work. Occasionally you’d find yourself catching a Stray kids comeback or even adding a few of their songs to your playlist just to hear that beautiful voice that reminded you of a simpler time.

On this particular night, you and a few friends set up your instruments in downtown Hongdae for some Saturday night busking. Although you weren’t officially a band you all enjoyed playing together even if it was only a hobby. 

Minseo sat across from you with her camera ready. “Go best friend!” she cheered. 

You guys ran through a few songs, getting the crowd excited, loving just seeing the smiles on everyone's faces. But toward the end of your set you shifted gears a calmer song. You expected the crowd to disperse, knowing you were singing this song more so for yourself than anyone else. Your tone, heavy as you sang the heartbreaking lyrics. 

_Really, I loved you_

_That’s how much harder it is_

_I want to hate you_

_But I can’t so I hate you even more_

_To be honest_

_No matter how much I try_

_To erase you_

_I know I can’t, yeah_

Your little tip jar filling as the song carried on. You strummed your guitar harder as you got to the bridge. Tears threaten to spill, but you just carried on. The crowd only got bigger as people recorded your performance. 

Jeongin and Seungmin went down to Hongdae for dinner and to do some shopping when a familiar tune caught their attention. Jeongin smiled brightly “Hyung, someone singing Day6” he cheered, pushing him toward the crowd. 

Rather it was fate, serendipity, or just plain luck that Seungmin saw you. You were no longer just a girl with an acoustic guitar, singing in front of a venue. Your voice was stronger, more confident, he felt every single word you sang. You smiled singing the sad lyrics as a tear streamed down your beautiful face. 

_Loved you_

_Because I want to forget you but I can’t_

_That’s why I want to forget you_

Jeongin noticed Seungmin’s solemn expression. “Hyung..?” It was how he was looking at you that just made something click for him. Seungmin had that same expression on his face whenever he looked at your photo. 

Watching as you finished your set you waived at everyone thanking them. You wiped your tears from your face, embarrassed that the song made you cry. You gave them the biggest and brightest smile, singing was always the most therapeutic thing for you to do, and they gave you that opportunity. 

As you were about to turn away from them, you caught his gaze. All this time you wondered how you’d react if you ever got to see him again, but you just mirrored his smile. 

“Hyung...Go talk to her.” Jeongin encouraged. 

“I don’t really deserve to” he smiled to himself. “But she looks like she’s doing well.”

“But you’re not…”

“Jeongin...I’m fine” 

Jeongin looked down and sighed. “Hyung...I’m...sorry...We forced you two to break up and you tried to smile and stuff but we knew you resented us for it.”

“You’re my family, I could never resent you...I was just sad I didn’t get to say goodbye properly. But she looks happy, and that’s all I wanted to know.”

“She just sang a heartbreak song while crying and you think she’s fine?” Jeongin sighed “You’ll thank me later” he jogged over to you. 

And that was how you ended up on a walk with Seungmin in Hongdae park. The two of you awkwardly walking in silence for far too long. “I’m sorry…” Seungmin looked over to you, making your steps halt. 

You fiddled with the wrapper of your finished ice cream cone. “For what? Dumping me over the phone while I waited for you in the rain? Or lying to me about being an idol?” you turned to him and raised a brow.

“I...Everything…” his shoulders slumped. “Hurting you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do…”

“Can I just ask you why?”

He took your hand leading you over to the bench to sit down. “I owe you a lot...But I’m going to start with an explanation…” He watched you, gathering the courage to continue with his side of the story. “The night of the Day6 I got permission to go alone, but they told me to keep a low profile. You didn’t know who I was and I didn’t want to just tell you I was an idol...and you didn’t even like them and I...I just wanted to be able to see you again.”

“But when we started seeing each other you should have told me, I thought you liked me but you couldn’t trust me to accept you”

“I didn’t want to ruin it.” he looked down. “When I was with you, I just felt so normal...Like if I wasn’t an idol this would have been my life...Don’t get me wrong, I love being an idol, and I love my team and my fans mean the world to me...But if there was a chance to go back and make the same decisions. There’s a small chance that I might have chosen to be a regular kid, a regular student and have a regular life…”

“How small?” you gave him a cheeky grin.

“Honestly like 5%” he chuckled “I really do love being a singer and I’m 95% sure that I would choose the path that leads to Stray Kids almost every time.”

“But I’m the 5%?” you smiled. 

“You’re the 5%” he shrugged bashfully. “I’m digging my own grave aren’t I?” he laughed nervously. 

“No, I appreciate it you’re being honest” you placed your hand on his, giving it a comforting pat. 

“The path of Stray Kids still led me to you, so I’m sure I would always pick it.” he squeezed your hand. “And when we broke up…”

“You mean when you dumped me” you teased. 

“I’m sorry...I really was on my way to go see you. And let's just say my team had a whole intervention. They had to put things in perspective for me…” He looked out across the park seeing a group of kids doing a cover dance and smiled fondly. “I loved every moment I spent with you, but I was under a dating ban, and getting caught could mean risking my group's whole career. And as much as I love you, they’re my brothers and-”

“You never told me you loved me.” you whispered, a smile tugging at your lips.

“Of course I love you...I’m sorry you didn’t know that...:” he brought your hand to his lips, gently placing a kiss. 

“So what happens now?” you eyed him. 

“Well...My dating ban was lifted…” he inched closer to you. “And I haven’t stopped thinking about you”

You grinned “Bold of you to assume that I’m single” Seeing the look on his face was priceless, he let go of your hand and panicked.

Of course, you wouldn’t be single, you were charming, bright and beautiful. “I-” he stuttered up until he saw you break out into a laugh, holding your stomach and throwing your head back. “I’m kidding” your smile could brighten a room. 

“Let’s start over” he stood up and reached out to you “Hi I’m Seungmin, I’m an idol and my favorite band is Day6”

You took his hand in yours introducing yourself. “I just graduated, I like singing and Day6 is also my favorite band” 

“Do you want to grab dinner with me?”

“I’d love to” he pulled you up, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I know we technically just started over but…” you stopped just taking him in again. You didn’t think it was possible but he really managed to become more handsome. You stared into his deep brown eyes before your gaze dropped to his lips again. His tongue darted out for a moment before retreating back to his mouth. 

He smiled leaning him pressing his forehead against yours. “But what?” he smiled and pursed his lips playfully. 

“Stop~” you whined, laughing into him, pressing your hand against his chest. “Just kiss me already”

His cheeks began to hurt from smiling so hard. He cupped your cheek, pulling you into the kiss. Your small hands gripped the front of his sweater, tugging him closer. His hands spanned over your cheek keeping you close. His kiss almost becoming desperate to make up for all the lost moments. He missed the softness of your skin, the faintest taste of mint on your lips, how you had to tiptoe to reach his lips, how you held him so tight. He missed all of it. He pulled away, peppering small kisses against your lips, his lashes fanning over your cheek. 

You looked up at him, with the warmest and most loving eyes he’d ever seen. You were breathtaking. “I’m never going to let you go again…” he whispered, caressing your cheek. 

End.

**Author's Note:**

> ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Hey friends!
> 
> Oh boy that was a long one lol I got carried away but I was so invested lol I hope your guys enjoyed that, if you did let me know! :3 your messages always mean the absolute world to me


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